Entry #2 - Justin (part 1)

There was a time when I loved summer. And in some ways I still do. But I no longer look forward to it as I used to... for one main reason. Darrin's kids come to visit.

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love and respect this man. He is my dearest friend and it pains me to write this, but I need to get it off my chest, and better here than vocally.

Darrin didn't have a lot to do with their upbringing. He left his ex-wife in 2001, and she has had them since then. At the time his daughter Alexis was 7, and his son Justin was 4. He has seen them at least once a year since he moved to Washington, which possibly has something to do with how messed up these kids are.

At 5 or 6, Justin was diagnosed with ADHD... a very typical diagnosis for an active little boy these days. I personally think it's a pharmacuetical joke, and they are laughing all the way to the bank while you're popping pills in your kids mouth. But, that's a topic for a different post.

Since 2002 or 2003, Justin has been taking drugs such as Seroquel, Abilify, Lamictal, Strattera, Trazodone, Buspar, Concerta, and there are others I simply can't remember. These are mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, antidepressants, and tranquilizers used for treating ADHD, yes.... but also for schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder and depression. The only thing that Darrin is certain he has been diagnosed with is ADHD.

Justin has been on a cocktail of at least 4 of these drugs at all times since he was 5 or 6 years old. Everytime he has come to stay he has had a little case full of medicine, and it makes me SICK. How can anyone possibly know who Justin is without the meds at this point? Chances are he'll be taking these well into his adult life because his brain is so used to them that he won't be able to function without them. I don't really understand how a child's mind could possibly develop properly while continuously being soaked in these psychiatric drugs.

One year, Alexis showed up with her own little suitcase of psycho meds. For me this was a HUGE flaming red flag.... something is going on here.

There should be laws against this. The fact that their mother is "okay" with all this makes me want to pull her face off. It is my considered opinion that she drugs them so that she doesn't really have to parent them, and I don't think that is uncommon anymore.

Alas... Darrin doesn't like to rock the boat, and in most cases, I think I'd be okay with that. But, in my humble opinion this amounts to abuse. Fortunately, Alexis has managed to ween herself off all but one of these drugs... because she hates them. Justin is now 14, and is either too doped up to care, or too sheltered to know what's happening... I would guess it's a whole lot of both.

When Justin was 11 his mother was still bathing him. Until last week, he didn't know how to tie his shoes or fold a blanket... WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???

Justin is intellectually very bright, almost to a fault... but his behavioral maturity is equivalent to that of a 6 or 7 year old. He has never been taught to take care of himself. After a week of being here I realized he hadn't brushed his teeth once... I had just assumed that by 14 he would be capable of handling that on his own. All of my kids where pretty self-sufficient by that age, so maybe I'm way off and my kids are not the norm, I don't know...

(to be continued)

Entry #1 - Overview

This is a catharsis blog... straight up.

And despite the bright colors and fun fonts, this is a place for the evil in me to manifest itself. I'm not here to make any friends or sugar coat my feelings. Here is where the proverbial pot will boil over, spilling hatred, frustration and pure wickedness in all the most horrific colors you can possibly imagine.

If you are reading this and you are someone I know and love, tread carefully. You have been warned, and I'm not kidding about this. Stop now and go away. I don't want to carry these negative feelings around and possibly explode on someone... So, this will not be a kind blog. It was created to blow off steam and spare others the pain. Ideally, no one will read this. I am simply using this cyberspace to alleviate some anger, frustration and tension. I will use whatever foul language I deem necessary, no holds barred. Whether the statements you find here are true or not makes no difference. Steam does not always come out in a rational, honest, or mature way.

That said, I will again stress that this blog is in no way meant to hurt anyone. If you read this and are hurt, I am sorry, but you probably should have left a while ago. These are only my feelings and opinions and we all know what those amount to... squat. Feelings and opinions change with time so just because I said it here today, doesn't mean I will feel the same tomorrow.

This is my personal garbage dump.